Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
