I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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