how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
