birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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