Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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