We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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