:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i've created a new STD.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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