We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My breasts were aching with rage.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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