What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
