I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She told me I should be a condom model.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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