yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
