What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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