He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The air was thick with penises
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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