I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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