About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i now understand why vodka
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
