Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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