That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
