I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
