I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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