I wanna bring you to show and tell
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
