Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
