I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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