A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
