Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
