Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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