I am puke
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
