i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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