so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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