girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
