I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
