i need an iv and a liver transplant
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize