Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize