No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
