We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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