I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
