Screwed.edu
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
