Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
