I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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