I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
