I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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