I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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