You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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