if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't EVER smell your tampon
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
