Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
