once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
