I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize