halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
