Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
