so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
