he wants to bone in the snuggie
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
