I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I will pee on everything he values.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
