Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize