Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
