This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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