The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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