are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
