She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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