Please, let me fuck your mom
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
