I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
