Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
