you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize