That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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