Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
