Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
