I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
