K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
