Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
