Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
