I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
