dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
