Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
bring money and cleavage
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
