How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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