I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
