Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
