have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
