you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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